My mission
By Rick Ryckeley
The project seemed simple enough: install fencing along the newly constructed walkway in our backyard. A 12-foot section of the walkway has a steep drop-off, so we needed a small section of fence to protect walkers and BBQers.
Such a do-it-yourself project should’ve been easy. It shouldn’t take much time. And it was simple enough that no one involved would get hurt.
Well, it wasn’t, it did, and someone took a tumble down the hill. Exactly who fell down might surprise you.
The model of efficiency, I searched by phone and Internet for the best fencing at the lowest price, and at the closest location. After all, time was short. The new sandbox wasn’t going to build itself, and I had promised our granddaughters it would be built by the weekend. But first, the footpath going to it had to be made safe.
Estimated project time: one hour.
After locating the fencing and making sure it was in stock, I took a quick trip to the closest giant hardware store with the blue roof. Imagine my surprise when I peered into the designated bin and found it empty. A sales associate checked the computer, and the computer indicated that there were twenty sections of fencing where we had just looked. Yep, said bin was still empty.
Time wasted arguing with lying computer: 30 minutes.
Still focused on the task at hand, I called the next closest giant hardware store with a blue roof. Yes, they had 10 sections of fencing in stock. At least that’s what their lying computer stated. Just to be sure, I asked a sales associate to physically place hands on the fencing. He did, so I immediately took a road trip to the neighboring city.
Travel time and a quick stop for morning sustenance (a.k.a. coffee, strong coffee and something sweet): 40 minutes.
Once again as sales associate led me to the aforementioned fencing bin, and once again, it was empty. The nice sales associate informed me that the last fencing sections had just been sold. Perhaps I should’ve called before I made the trip? he “helpfully” added. No time to argue or explain. The clock was ticking, and I was still on a mission. So I pressed on.
Now no longer a simple project, my task of finding and installing two sections of fencing to protect the family and guests had now become my mission in life. I decided to return home for a relaxing lunch with The Wife and regroup.
Trip back home: 50 minutes.
After a wonderful lunch of homemade, thin-crust pizza and sweet tea, I was strong enough to call yet another giant hardware store with a blue roof. This store was two counties away. Yes, they had the fencing, yes, they placed not one but two hands on the box, and yes the box would be reserved for me at customer service with my name on it. Success, and an end to my mission, was just a short ride away!
Ride time to third store: one hour.
When I got to the store, I walked across the parking lot. The bounce in my step returned as I made my way to customer service. My persistence and patience had finally been rewarded! The box with the last two sections of black metal fencing the store had in stock was indeed waiting for me at the counter. The sales associate happily took my money and then asked, “Do you already have posts? You will need three to install the fence.”
A quick check of their lying computer showed there were no posts in stock, but the nice sales associate said he would get a ladder and check on top of the three-story scaffolding storage bins. Sure enough, he found a box with the posts that would support the fence.
Return trip back home after a much-deserved, afternoon, congratulatory caffeinated beverage and snack for a job almost finished: one hour and 20 minutes.
Once home, the fence was quickly installed. Our walkway leading to the soon-to-be sandbox was safe for toddlers of all ages. Or so I thought. On the way to the sandbox with Little One and Sweet Caroline, someone was more interested in a monarch butterfly crossing the path than watching where they were walking. They took a tumble down the unfenced part of the hill, scraped their elbow, and started to cry.
That evening I asked The Wife what she thought of the fence. She took one look outside, one look at me and said, “I think you need another section.” Then she got a bandage to fix the boo-boo on my elbow.
Not quite worthy of the day’s laborious mission, it fit the situation. It was adorned with – what else – a butterfly!
Total time for completion of my mission: four hours and 20 minutes.
Next weekend construction of the sandbox starts. Should be easy, should be quick, and only take an hour.
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories since 2001. To read more of Rick’s stories, visit his blog: storiesbyrick.wordpress.com.]
