Inquisitive minds want to know


Someone obviously has too much time on his hands. Several years ago, before we became empty nesters, my son was bored and browsing the Internet. He called me downstairs and showed me a website developed especially for bored people. The site has a link entitled “crazy thoughts” that were really pretty creative and made you stop and think. I guess inquisitive minds want to know. Can you answer these questions?

• If your plan is to have no plan, do you have a plan?

• What do you say when someone says you’re in denial, but you’re not?

• Do pigs pull hamstrings?

• If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

• If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn’t they call you first?

• If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?

• How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t grow in it?

• If the #2 pencil is the most popular pencil, why is it still #2?

• How do they get the deer to cross the road at those yellow warning signs?

• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?

• If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

• Can a person get addicted to counseling? If so, how do you treat him?

• Why are the obituaries found in the “living” section of the newspaper?

• Have ex-cowboys become de-ranged?

• Have ex-drycleaners become de-pressed?

• If you decide you’re indecisive, which are you?

• If you tell someone they are being judgmental, are you not being judgmental?

• How did the headless horseman know where he was going?

• What is a male ladybug called?

• Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why do women put on make-up when they are driving 70 mph on the downtown connector?

• Why do they call them goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

• What do you call the opposite of opposite?

• If you try to fail and succeed, did you succeed or fail?

• Why do people never say “it’s only a game” when they’re winning?

• Why do hotdogs come in packs of eight when buns come in packs of ten?

• Why is a person who handles your money called a “broker?”

• If a man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

• How can you hear yourself think?

Like I said, someone had way too much time on his hands. However, these thought-provoking questions provoked some questions of my own. For instance,

• Whatever happened to “you’re welcome?” Is it just me, or have you noticed that when you say “thank you” at the grocery store or at the restaurant, some cashiers don’t say, “you’re welcome,” but come back with “no problem.”

Maybe I’m being too sensitive, but is it possible that my giving them business may have been a problem? Or, does “no problem” mean the cashier was possibly the least bit inconvenienced by giving me customer service? Is “no problem” the trendy, new “you’re welcome?” I like Chick-fil-A’s “My Pleasure!” much better.

• Why do big discount stores install so many check-out registers, but only have a few registers opened at any given time?

• Why does the shortest line always take the longest time? Why do I always choose to get in line behind the customer who stalls the line?

• Why do people get noses and tongues pierced? And eyebrows and navels?

• Why do people stop at green lights?

• Why do people stop at yield signs when there are absolutely no cars coming?

• When will people learn how to use the roundabout at Grady Avenue?

• When will people learn to drive, period?!

• If you’re occupying your time with browsing a boring website, are you still bored?

• If you have time to think up ridiculous questions like these, do you have too much time on your hands? Or are you just inquisitive?

Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, Fayetteville, Georgia. The church family meets at 352 McDonough Road, just past the driver’s license office. Join them this Sunday for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m. Visit them on the web at, and like them on Facebook .