Grow up, step up, own up
From politicians to preachers, it seems that few are committed to accepting personal responsibility for their actions, particularly if those actions are wrong.
When Republican President Richard Nixon boldly declared, “I am not a crook,” implying that he had done no wrong in the Watergate scandal, the end result was a shameful resignation from the presidency to avoid impeachment.
Later, Democratic President Bill Clinton would parse words and look the nation in its collective eye and say, “I did not have sex with that woman …” He, too, would set in motion a process that would result in his national shame, although he was able to survive the firestorm.
What these two have in common is that they tried unsuccessfully to evade personal responsibility for their actions.
In the Book of Genesis, in the creation account, God told Adam and Eve not to eat of a certain tree. A serpent came along and basically said that God was selfish and trying to withhold something good from the First Couple.
When the two ate the forbidden fruit, they were filled with guilt and shame. When God asked Adam what he had done, he replied that “The woman that you gave to me gave me the fruit and I ate it.”
So, in one sentence, Adam throws Eve under the bus and blames God for giving him such a deceitful creature. When God confronts Eve, her response is that it is the fault of the serpent (implied is the accusation that God made the serpent and if He hadn’t, things would be just groovy).
Thus was the first game in human history first played and the “blame game” has been played ever since.
Trying to evade personal responsibility didn’t work back then and it doesn’t work today. Today, we have the option of blaming: our parents, society, the government, the majority, political parties, the environment, our heredity, our socioeconomic condition, where we were born and raised, who our friends were, opportunities we didn’t have, and … on and on.
I have been attending court off and on for years and the excuses used for bad or illegal behavior are myriad. It all boils down to this: “It’s not my fault!”
But, yes, it is. If we made the choice, if we thought the thought, if we said the thing, if we did the deed, it IS our fault. We did it. Why don’t we just grow up, step up and, own up?
In our denomination, we have what we call “confession.” There is a “general confession” which we pray each Sunday as a group. But, even though the prayer is a group prayer, the implication is that the sins we commit “in thought, word, and deed,” against “God and our neighbors,” are our own fault.
In a more ancient prayer, and in the Rite of Reconciliation, which some folks call Penance or Confession, which is an individual action, the prayer is more specific: “I have sinned by my own fault.”
How refreshing! When my children were young, if they committed a wrong, they had the opportunity to come clean. If the owned up to what they did, the punishment, if any, was merciful. If they lied or tried to blame others, they got two spankings: one for the deed and the other for the lie. This gave rise to the phrase in our house, “You lie, you die.” Which is all very biblical and theological.
I have heard people say that “God forgives everybody everything.” Well, yes and no. There is a caveat: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us out sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (I John 1:9).
Note the big “IF.” If we grow up, if we step up, and if we own up, forgiveness is given freely (which doesn’t mean that we don’t reap what we sow).
But, if we blame others, point fingers, lie, try to excuse our behavior, then forgiveness is not on the table.
The truth is, we made the choice to do or say something wrong. What follows is the choice to “own our own stuff” and take responsibility for what we did or said. As history demonstrates, anything else just doesn’t work.
[David Epps is the pastor of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Sharpsburg, GA (www.ctkcec.org). He is the bishop of the Mid-South Diocese which consists of Georgia and Tennessee (www.midsouthdiocese.org) and the Associate Endorser for the Department of the Armed Forces, U. S. Military Chaplains, ICCEC. He may contacted at frepps@ctkcec.org.
