I have — at long last — found a reason for the existence of Sprawl Mart, also known as “China Incorporated.”
If you’re not a Southerner, either by birth or adoption, the following may mean little to you; however, Sprawl Mart seems to be the only place in Peachtree City where one can purchase Velveeta Shredded cheese.
Velveeta? Yes, Velveeta. It’s one of the staples of life in the South. For example, consider the classic “three can casserole”: take three cans of whatever you have in the pantry, put them in a casserole dish, and bind them together with Velveeta. This recipe was, I believe, featured in the movie, “Steel Magnolias.”
Then, there’s the perennial, “The only thang that don’t go with Velveeta is ice cream.” On the other hand, I feel sure that the Velveeta people are working on that.
Why is shredded Velveeta important? Because Velveeta is “soft, processed cheese.” It melts and binds just about anything, without roping and stringing. However, trying to shred it at home, even with the best equipment, is extremely frustrating.
Recipe books recommend freezing a block of Velveeta before trying to shred it at home. Yeah, right — I’m going to predict my need for shredded cheese in time to freeze some Velveeta? Get real! It’s hard enough to keep it in stock in the refrigerator, much less in the freezer!
As we approach the eating season — Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Super Bowl weekend — we’re likely to see more ads for Velveeta, and for antacids. Correlation does not prove causation, but it does give us something to think about.
What is it about Velveeta?
When I learned about our sense of taste in high school, there were only four: sweet, salt, sour, and bitter. More recently, someone has added umami: the feel of a food on the tongue: is it “slippery” or “fatty”? Oh, for that feel! Velveeta not only contains salt, it’s also high in umami, the mouth feel, the slippery feel of mayonnaise, of fat, of … of Velveeta.
What has umami done to us? Well, I think it’s likely responsible for the epidemic of obesity in the USA. It’s been exploited by the fast food industry, which seems to believe that bacon (which consists of salt plus umami) should accompany everything, but especially the already salty and fatty burgers we order from fast food places.
Wisely used, our new knowledge of umami could lead to better nutrition for many. For example tomato paste is loaded with umami as well as a number of nutritious things.
This outcome is not likely in this country, however, given the stranglehold that the fast food and processed food industries seem to have on the Congress and on our taste buds.
P.S. Velveeta is a registered trademark of Kraft. Super Bowl is undoubtedly a trademark of the NFL, which itself is a trademark. Trademarks are used here without permission, but with the understanding that their owners own them. (Can you say “tautology?”)
Paul Lentz
Peachtree City, Ga.
