What I saw in the rearview mirror yesterday was so unbelievable I actually pulled over to the side of the road and got out of my car in order to get a better look as it sped past.
Being a firefighter for over 27 years, I thought I’d seen everything, but I was wrong. As if dodging all the slow-moving zombies around here wasn’t enough, now in our sleepy hometown of Senoia, Ga., we have to contend with a driverless car.
Due to the hit television show that’s filmed here, our town fills up with zombies about this time every year. But yesterday wasn’t my first encounter. The last one of those I saw actually ran over Twin Brother Mark. A driverless car, not a zombie. As far as I know, at least for this season, Zombies still can’t drive.
Even though Google, Tesla, and Apple are currently testing driverless cars and expect to have them for sale in a few years, to find the first ones we have to travel 50 years into the past. We have to return to an old familiar street not so far away.
Now I’ve been accused of sometimes stretching the truth, pushing poetic license to the breaking point, but for this story every word is as it happened – yesterday and 50 years ago.
The driverless car visited our house just after noon on the first Saturday after school was out for the summer. The day was memorable for two reasons. First, it’s not every day you see a driverless car on Flamingo Street. Second, it’s not every day one of us gets rushed to the hospital. Maybe a couple times a month, but not every day.
That Saturday, Neighbor Thomas had successfully made the jump across Cripple Creek on his bike. Bubba Hanks hadn’t. Goofy Steve had made so many jokes that laughing at him making Booger get an attack of hiccups lasting over an hour – a new Flamingo Street record for hiccup attacks.
At high noon, we all successfully fended off a dirt clod sneak attack by none other than Down the Street Bully Brad and his gang by using a cache of water balloons we had hidden in our backyard. By all measure, it had been a good summer Saturday, so after a hotdog lunch it was time for a well-earned slice of cold watermelon and the first seed-spitting contest of the year.
Sitting around a picnic table at the end of our driveway, seven unsuspecting kids were eating watermelon and spitting seeds. None noticed they were directly in line with the driverless car slowly backing down the driveway located at 110 Flamingo Street until it was too late.
Only 6 years old, just how was I the only one to know it was a driverless car? Simple, I had a front row seat. I was sitting in the passenger seat at the time.
There’s nothing better on watermelon than salt, and Dad kept packets of it in the glove box. Why hadn’t I just gone inside and gotten salt off the table? Don’t really know. Looking back, I did a lot of things at 6 that defied explanation.
Climbing into the car and accidentally kicking the shifter into neutral started the car on its way to eventually running over Twin Brother Mark. He was the only one who slipped on the wet grass from the earlier water balloon-dirt clod battle. When he fell, the car rolled over both his legs before crashing into the picnic table and stopping.
Mark got checked out at the hospital; no broken bones. Dad made us rebuild the picnic table; it took all the rest of the day and all day Sunday. But it wasn’t the last time a driverless car visited Flamingo Street. The very next summer one came and destroyed much more than just a picnic table.
Goofy Steve lived two houses down and across the street from us. Late one Friday afternoon, his dad arrived home after work, pulled into his driveway and got out of the car to retrieve mail from the mailbox.
Unfortunately, he didn’t place the car into park, and after closing the mailbox, he watched as it rolled down the driveway and crashed into the living room. He just slowly walked back down towards the house laughing with each step.
If I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have believed it. Just like not believing the driverless car I saw yesterday.
Yesterday the driverless car followed me for over two miles before I finally pulled over to get a better look. The young person behind me wasn’t driving her car. Instead she was using both hands to brush her long hair the entire time. How the car stayed on the road I haven’t a clue. As she passed, the brushing continued as the car disappeared around a sharp curve in the road. It was perhaps the most reckless, selfish act I’ve ever witnessed.
Unfortunately I know too well just how dangerous driving an automobile can be, and that’s if you ARE paying attention. The aftermath of one lapse in judgment can last a lifetime for the driver, occupants of their vehicle, and the unsuspecting occupants of the vehicles they crash into.
Now that our loved ones are out of school for the summer, please drive with both hands on the wheel. You never know when you’ll have to take emergency action to get out of the way of a driverless car.
[Rick Ryckeley, who lives in Senoia, served as a firefighter for more than two decades and has been a weekly columnist since 2001. His email is storiesbyrick@gmail.com. His books are available at www.RickRyckeley.com.]
