P.T. Barnum once said, "There's a fool born every minute." Well, I guess I resemble that remark 'cause The Wife and I have decided to move. Now, before all the real estate agents in the county start to salivate and bombard us with e-mails, faxes and phone calls describing the perfect house they've listed we can have for a song, there's something you need to know: The Wife, The Boy and I, well, we're picky people.

There has been a long-standing argument between The Wife and yours truly about buying a pontoon boat. For the last three years I've wanted one. My reasoning has been simply that I want one. That's all that should be needed, but nooooo. The Wife has to bring logic into the argument. "You don't have time." "We don't have the money." "We don't live on a lake." "Where would we park it?" "Besides, when you and The Boy go fishing, you don't catch anything anyway."

Now I'll divulge a man secret to all you ladies out there and, in doing so, hopefully not be voted out of the man's club. (They still haven't quite gotten over that male purse article I wrote last year.) We men folk need not have a reason, a need or a place to park something that we want. Wanting something doesn't have to be logical to us, unlike women folk who go out and buy shoes when they already have 20 pair lying in the bottom of the closet or buying a new car just because it's cute. Nope, the only reason we men folk need when we buy something is simply that we want it. That's right; don't give us too much credit for being deep thinkers; men are but simple creatures. Just ask The Wife; she'll confirm it.

I made some headway last year. She finally gave in a little. "Tell you what; first buy a big house on a lake; then we'll talk about the pontoon boat." What does all of this pontoon boat stuff have to do with buying a house, you might ask? Be patient, I'll get there.

Growing up, one of the many words of wisdom I remember Dad bestowed was about buying houses: "Don't start looking for houses 'til you're ready to move. If you do, you'll find one you love every time and end up buying." As I remember, he said this right after he and Mom got back from "just looking" at houses. We moved two weeks later. Side note: Am I the only 46-year-old out there who still hears the voices of his parents and all the advice they tried to give? Guess The Boy's gonna hear me in his head long after he's out of college and living in a house far, far away. That's a scary thought. Funny, but scary.

Three weeks ago The Wife and I went out for our Sunday afternoon ride around the big, expensive, nearby subdivisions. We HAD no intention of walking through a house, but we did. We HAD no intention of putting a contract on one, but we did. "Don't start looking for houses till you're ready to move. If you do, you'll find one you love every time ... " I just hate it when Dad's right. He needs to get out of my head before he drives me crazy. The Wife said it'll be a short drive. She's so funny.

What really closed the deal was the house came with its own golf cart! The Wife saw my reaction to it during the first walk-through, and as we went