Dr. Bray suggests

the following:

Discuss expected

responsibilities. Don't wait until turkey time to decide who says thanks

at the family table ­ especially when the table includes new family

members added by remarriage.

See the holidays

through a child's eyes. Children of divorced parents want contact with

all their family members. When children come to visit, don't begrudge

their need to phone their primary caregiver.

Make travel

as smooth as possible. If children are traveling to another parent, help

relieve anxiety by telling them how they will travel, who will meet them

and when the visit will end.

Break tradition

and develop new holiday rituals that give the stepfamily its own sense

of identity.

Above all,

Bray says stepfamilies should keep a sense of humor. Laughter and a focus

on having fun can help overcome most challenges as members adjust to the

new stepfamily arrangement.

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