I finally figured

out why my life has been slightly out of sync for the past 40 odd years.

My Chi is completely

out of whack.

How do I know

this? By reading the Illustrated Encyclopedia of Feng Shui (pronounced

fung shway). It seems that 3,500 years ago, the Chinese came up with a

way to balance the positive and negative energy of the elements around

them to create well being. Having the yin and yang energies coexist harmoniously

emerged as the art of feng shui.

Today, it has

resurfaced as a means of dealing effectively in a chaotic world.

OK. I'm in.

If all it takes is rearranging my furniture and hanging some chimes in

strategic places around my home to guarantee prosperity, good health and

success in the work place, I'm ready to move my sofa to the front porch

if necessary.

"Feng

Shui is not difficult to practice," the author states in the introduction.

Excellent. But, she warns, even the most skilled practician rarely gets

her feng shui completely correct. Also, there can be periods of bad luck

triggered by "bad flying stars."

I'll risk the

stars. On to practical applications. This is where it gets tricky. You

have to read a compass, knowing where "all cardinal directions are"

regarding your surroundings. Lucky for me, I have two Boy Scouts in the

family.

From compass

readings, we move on to creating our feng shui boundaries and actually

getting to place good fortune symbols around the house. This I can do.

Bring on the jade plants, coins and wind chimes.

Uh oh, a warning

follows: "Do not overdo the setting out of crystals, wind chimes

and three-legged toads... the placement of the lucky objects will be symbolic.

Now for the

front door, "the most crucial aspect of my overall feng shui."

I can welcome good luck with the correct Chi or I can jeopardize the whole

scheme by failing to protect my entryway from poison arrows. Fortunately,

my door opens inward and the foyer is spacious with the properly placed

mirror reflecting light. I'm off to a good start.

The book rambles

through the house, illustrating good feng shui versus bad feng shui with

colorful pictures and diagrams. After 327 pages of advice, I'm ready to

tackle the new millennium with the wisdom of a Chinese sage, the creativity

of a brush-and-ink artist and the humor of a happy Buddha.

Just help me

move the sofa.

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