Many people

have asked me what it is like inside my head.

To tell the

truth, I don't really know. I have never been able to travel or to see

inside my head, but the question did get me thinking. I then decided to

miniaturize some scientists and explorers, inject them and a tiny raft

inside my body and let them travel in my body to examine just what it

is like in my noggin.

The crew, made

up of local science teacher Mr. Edward Panzerelli and two of his prize

students, Molly Reynolds and James Hardingson, recently returned from

their journey and here is what their journal said, after we enlarged it

and them.

Day 1 :

We should have had Mr. Boylan snort us instead of eat us. Instead of traveling

up his nasal cavity, we traveled down to his stomach. I wonder how he

can survive on his diet of soda, hamburgers and cookies. Currently we

are passing his miles of intestines. Molly is a bit squeamish and keeps

closing her eyes, while James keeps talking about how cool everything

looks.

Day 2 :

We are nearing Mr. Boylan's heart, and Molly has taken a turn for the

worse. She is very upset that it does not look like a valentine heart.

James is constantly teasing her by singing songs with the word heart in

the title. Perhaps it was a bad idea to bring two 15-year-old students

along for what is an amazing journey. I am fascinated by how the human

body works as the only bodies I have examined have been dead ones. My

only wish is that Mr. Boylan would stop drinking so much soda. His burps

have thrown us off course several times.

Day 4 :

I fear we are lost. The breathing pattern of Mr. Boylan has made the trek

upwards like climbing a mountain in high winds. It is only during his

sleeping state that we were able to navigate the raft, which is holding

up surprisingly well. Molly and James have quieted down, but I fear the

stress of this journey may have a lasting negative effect on them.

Day 5 :

James is getting testy. We have been inside Mr. Boylan's body for five

days and we have still not made it past the lungs. In fact, I think we

have lost our sense of direction. We passed the heart earlier this morning

but may have been traveling sideways. Molly is curled up in a fetal position,

whispering, "I wish I were big. I wish I were big." I have dug

out the compass and believe we are traveling north, which should be the

proper direcion. As james has said several times, "North is up, right?"

Day 6 :

This trip has turned from bad to worse. Mr. Boylan should have told us

he had a pin in his knee, which tampered with the magnetic pull on the

compass. We are now down somewhere near his shin. James has threatened

to jump out of the raft several times, while Molly has crowned herself

"Princess of the Pancreas." She is demanding we take her back

to her homeland where she can rule her kingdom.

Day 7 :

We are back on course but I won't tell you where we just came from. Unfortunately

we are traveling on the wrong side of Mr. Boylan's body but it should

be easier to follow his backbone up to the brain. Thankfully, Molly and

James have settled down. I was glad I packed a bottle of Dimetapp. By

putting it in their sandwiches have guaranteed myself some peace and quiet

as I navigate.

Day 9 :

We have reached the brain. Success. It is wonderful up here. The synapses

are constantly firing and the light show can only be described as James

described it, "wicked cool." Tomorrow we shall perform some

experiments and then travel to Mr. Boylan's mouth, waiting to be expunged.

Day 10 : I am sure that my students and I will

never eat eggs again, but we have had an excellent

time playing in Mr. Boylan's brain. It is a very fast and it is quite

large. Hopefully, our experiments did not do any permanent harm to Mr.

Boylan. James accidentally tore a small hole in his medulla oblangata,

which may result in uncontrollable rage. Molly accidentally spilled some

Hi-C from a juice box and fears it may have landed on his frontal lobe.

We'll know tomorrow as we will be launched into a child's pool full of

water and enlarged.

Kudos, Mr.

Boylan. Science will thank you for all we have learned inside your body.

Day 14 :

We are lost again and all radio contact with the outside world has failed.

We are somewhere very white amd bright and our visuals have been knocked

out. Hopefully, the right people will save us before we run out of food,

oxygen and sanity.

Editor's Note:

The crew was enlarged several days later in Mike's shower. He accidentally

expunged them into the shower several days earlier.

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