Remember the TV commercial

when E.F. Hutton speaks and everyone listens?

Do you ever listen to God?

As an extrovert, I came out of the womb talking. My teachers used to say

to my parents, "Knox is such a good boy, but he comes into this class

talking and leaves talking."

While I substitute teach as a bi-vocational pastor, I tell my students,

"When I took, and later taught the Myers Briggs personality analysis,

I scored the highest you can score in extraversion." We are all,

according to Dr. Briggs, either an extravert or an introvert.

There is certainly no value judgement placed on whether you are or I am

an extravert or an introvert, but it's just the way God made us.

We also learn that the extraverts (like me) process information by talking

and engaging people. Introverts, on the other hand, obtain information

and process it quietly and internally. We all might feel that we do both

in life and that is true; however, we are still basically one or the other.

It comes out when we are threatened or are in a conflict situation. If

we are an extravert, we will come out talking in these situations, and

if an introvert, will shut down, get quiet and process the information.

Again no value judgement is placed on either personalities; it's just

the way God made us.

Now if you introduce marriage, or your job or the relationships we have

with our children, or friends, on top of these personalities, it makes

for an interesting exchange. We have always heard that "opposites

attract," and that is true, but opposites also "attack."

This keeps marriage counselors' and lawyers' calendars full.

Extraverts, if you come home one day all happy and you yell out, "Honey,

I'm home," and your introvert wife is curled up reading a book, this

is not a rejection of you, but possibly her needing "down processing

time." This is not intended to be pop psychology, but every day I

run into couples that are seemingly locked into these modes of operandi

and don't realize that extraverts need to talk to process things and introverts

need down time to process information.

Now if you add a good old family argument when it involves the clash of

the "Titans" (you and your spouse) and one is an introvert and

one an extravert, your chances for resolution are better because there

is give and take. If you have two introverts arguing, the issues are very

slow to resolve. On the other hand, if you have two extraverts arguing,

it can become very volatile very quickly.

The secret is keeping the communication open, and being a "fat"

person faithful, available and teachable. In the midst of all of this,

we all need to stop and have a prayer where we just "LISTEN"

to God and not talk. I, the extravert, have found that when I have silent

prayers, God really speaks volumes. Silent prayers are powerful.

The Rev. Dr. Knox Herndon is the pastor of His House Community Church

(SBC) and a substitute school teacher in the Fayette County School System,

and a former Army chaplain. The church is currently meeting in the American

Legion Log Cabin across from the fountain on the Square in Fayetteville,

but will move to a new location near Senoia in September. Prayer line

770-719-2365; e-mail [email protected].