I am an

idiot.

There are

things that I do that I cannot explain.

I have

locked my keys in my car several times. And twice in the

past three months I have left my ATM card in the machine.

I have left

something on top of my car and driven off.

I misplace

my keys, my wallet and my sunglasses on a weekly basis. I

also have trouble finding the remote(s).

I wear at

least one of my socks inside out once a month.

I often

push on doors that clearly say pull.

I have also

been known, on occasion, to stop at green lights. In

fact, once, I stayed stopped at a stop sign. I guess I

was waiting for it to turn green.

Last week,

I got a slide burn going down a friend's water slide,

backward and head first.

And I am

not ashamed.

I am not

the only idiot out there.

Some of you

readers are the same people that drive down the parking

lanes that have "up" arrows. Some of you are

the people who bring their infants to Rated R movies. In

fact, some of you are infants at Rated R movies. There

are plenty of idiots out there, but few who will admit

it.

Everyone is

an idiot.

Even you.

If you

don't think so, you are in denial.

Of course

you're an idiot. Take one minute and think of something

stupid that you said or did in the last week. Heck, name

the stupid thing you did today.

None of us

can claim to be a genius all the time. Sometimes we

forget a major ingredient of a cake or blast ourselves

with the hose and then pretend like we meant to do that.

(Not this summer, of course).

So, now

that we are all idiots, let's collectively get off that

high horse.

Come on

now, we're all pretty saddle sore.

We are not

right all the time. We are idiots and idiots, by

definition, cannot be right all the time (unless they are

like "Rain Man," but he was an idiot savant who

could only drive slow in the driveway. He is an excellent

driver.

But back to

the topic at hand, since we're not right all the time, we

should really stop trying to run or judge other people's

lives. After all, we could be wrong. And really, isn't

doing the wrong thing what makes us idiots in the first

place.

Nobody

really likes being an idiot.

We all

strive to cut down our dumbness and be the opposite of an

idiot, which is cool.

We all want

everything to be cool.

We don't

want any problems and we want the least amount of hassle

possible.

So why do

we have such a hard time mellowing out and why do we

always want to share in other people's problems?

No, it's

not because we're idiots. At least, not all the time.

It is

because we are human. Sometimes humans aren't mellow and

sometimes humans enjoy craning their necks at car

accidents, but sometimes we do something really amazing

and help somebody out or make their day brighter.

Life is

about being an idiot, acknowledging this and wanting to

be cool.

Now, go and

live your life and try to pay more attention to things.

Idiot.

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