So many

people keep complaining about how awful Peachtree City

is. Have they ever lived in the real world at all? I hear

Alabama could use more taxpayers.

For those of us who aren't

bent on complaining as often as Yahoo gets hacked, it is

nice to arrive home in Peachtree City and realize we are

insulated from some of the things that lurk outside. If

you choose to overlook this in favor of ranting on

sprawl, I hear Alabama could use more taxpayers.

Nevertheless, here are some reminders of how it's

different out there.

Life in Peachtree City: You

wheel your shopping cart to the Kroger checkout stand and

talk to the bag boy. Life in the Real World: In a

downtown city, you wheel out of the way of a shopping

cart pushed by a bag lady talking to herself.

Life in Peachtree City: You

recline and watch R-rated movies in your underwear after

the kids are in bed. Life in the Real World: Calvin Klein

sells clothes by running R-rated ads with kids in their

underwear.

Life in Peachtree City: You

work every day, pay taxes and would murder for a good

buy. Life in the Real World: In pro sports, they work 48

days, have tax shelters and try to buy their way out of

murder.

Life in Peachtree City: For

fun and relaxation you grab some irons and shoot a few

holes on the green. Life in the Real World: For fun and

relaxation, inner-city kids grab AK-47s and shoot a few

holes through their neighborhood.

Life in Peachtree City: You

face a drought and have to wait every other day to water

your lawn. Life in the Real World: In New Mexico they

have a drought and a brush fire burns down the state.

Life in Peachtree City: You

have so much free time on your hands you visit every town

meeting to gripe and blubber. Life in the Real World: In

the Arctic you preserve a slain caribou on your ice

living room floor the whole, dark winter, hoping your

lantern doesn't run out of whale blubber.

Life in Peachtree City: You

teach your kids to obey the law and they could become

president. Life in the Real World: Politicians want to

become president so they don't have to obey the law.

Life in Peachtree City: You

work hard flying a Delta jet so your wife and kids will

live in a nice house. Life in MTV's Real World: None of

the kids work but live in an apartment big enough to

house a Delta jet.

Life in Peachtree City: You

eat McDonald's hamburgers in your golf cart while on the

mobile phone. Life in the Real World: On the streets, you

eat McDonald's hamburgers out of the trash can while

dreaming of living in a mobile home.

If you find yourself even

the least bit tempted to complain about the sarcasm in

this article, I hear Alabama could use more tax payers.

[Visit Billy Murphy on

the Internet at https://billymurphy.net .]