The end of

high school is just a hop, skip and a jump away, and I'm

sure there are a lot of serious, worried seniors out

there, sweating to pass their high school graduation

test. So, as a primer, I offer this practice exam to

prepare you for your impending college experience.

Math portion:

1. If you multiply

Brittany's BMW 320si by Matt's 300ZX and subtract from

the points scored against McIntosh's football team, do

you have a positive or negative number?

2. There are 1,200 new

freshman at the University of Georgia. Senior fraternity

brothers Bruno and Rocko have tortured 300 freshman this

week. What percentage of freshman have been tortured so

far by Bruno and Rocko?

3. You get a weekly college

allowance of $75 on Saturday. You have already spent $72

dad's BP gas card?

Life skills:

4. You are on your first

job interview and you get a call on your cell phone. Do

you: A. Ignore it? B. Answer it and tell them to call

back later? C. Ask the interviewer to leave so you can

have some privacy?

5. Which costs more: A.

Five loads of laundry? B. Two science text books? C. One

fake I.D.?

6. You receive your student

loan check; do you: A. Go straight to the business office

and apply it to your school account? B. Go straight to

Rich's and have a shopping spree? C. Go straight to the

Internet and invest it in your freshman roommate's IPO?

Extra credit:

7. Your friend has a guy's

phone number that you want. Which would save the most

time: A. Calling your friend's pager and leaving the

number to your cell phone, so she can call and leave the

number on your voice mail? B. Sending your friend an

e-mail, telling her to fax your computer with the number?

C. Walk across the hall to her room and get it?

8. Which is the most

prestigious career choice: A. Peachtree City Amphitheater

security guard for concerts that feature old, chubby,

washed-up rock stars? B. Fast Food security guard

protecting the recipe for McDonald's Secret Sauce? C.

Fayette County High School security guard watching over

freshman nerds using the computer lab to hack into the

lottery system?

9. Maggie from Sandy Creek

High School trades her blouse from Macy's for a sweater

from Sears with Jessie from McIntosh High School. Who got

the better deal? (This is a trick question: McIntosh High

School girls would never own clothes from Sears.)

[Visit Billy Murphy on

the Internet at https://www.billymurphy.com .]