I don't

know about you, but I'm ready for some new news.

All I've

heard about for three weeks is Elian Gonzales, the NASDAQ

and Jon Benet Ramsey's parents. Our morning routine

starts with Cheerios and the "Today" show. (Did

you hear about the blonde who peered into a box of

Cheerios and announced, "Oh look! Donut

seeds!")

Every day

I've heard about dear little Elian. Everybody from Castro

to the fisherman who plucked him from the Atlantic has

had an opinion about this long-running scenario. Now it's

my turn to weigh in on the matter.

I'm siding

with the Miami relatives and Elian. After spending five

months in the United States, it makes sense that he

stays. He's already become Americanized. He's been to

Disney World, probably eaten more than his share of

McDonald's Happy Meals and has become a junior celebrity,

thanks to the media.

A return to

Cuba and a life of rice and beans will certainly diminish

his future. After talking with the neighbor of the check

out girl who works in the market where Elian's Miami

relatives shop, it's clear that he should remain.

"The relatives... ah, they are lovely people,"

she reported. As for Elian's father, his wife and

children, let them stay too. Miami is a big city.

Certainly there is room for several more Gonzaleses.

On to the

NASDAQ. Friday's stock plummet has investors reeling.

Buy? Sell? Jump? This week's Wall Street activity should

tell us more, and more and more. As a long term investor,

I would rather remain semi-ignorant and assume I can

still retire in less than 10 years.

The tragedy

of JonBenet Ramsey's murder is still being played out by

the parents, John and Patsy, who now have a book out and

are negotiating with Denver police over arrangements to

take a lie detector test. Does America still care about

this? It's still painful to watch that beautiful little

girl sashay across the stage in footage shot during one

her pageant performances.

I'm all for

new news. What's going on in the rest of the world? If we

have to rely on national media, we'll never know. But

turn on one of the major networks and you'll get an

up-to-the-minute report on Elian, John and Patsy and the

NASDAQ.

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