"There's

no place like home, there's no place like home..."

for some great spamming material. So this time around I

will just cover Atlanta instead of the whole country.

Well, well, they have shut

down the Gold Club strip bar for corruption. Who can

believe this? We know a lot of our politicians are

crooked. We have come to expect our school teachers to

live secret lives. But what is this world coming to when

our very own strip clubs aren't run on the up and up?

It truly must be the

apocalypse when the good people of the exotic dancing

world have run afoul of the law. Now what will the

out-of-town, upscale businessmen do with all this time on

their hands? I mean, the church doors aren't open in the

evenings except on Wednesdays and that is 2-for-1 lap

dancing night.

Do the judges and police

not realize there are employees they are sending to the

street? These music and movement professionals have

Corvette payments to make, not to mention their breast

augmentation loans. Oh well, I guess there might be one

or two other establishments of this nature in Atlanta

where they can find work.

What is with the wrecks on

our expressways involving these large 18-wheelers? People

are complaining about traffic, but somebody is picking up

some real speed somehow. We have not long had the HOV

lanes in place; now we need to develop some special lanes

for these large tanker and tandem rigs; call them HOB

(Hung Over on Beer) lanes.

The rest of us might as

well be driving around with bull's-eyes on the back of

our cars. I promise I saw a Mack truck recently with a

scope on his dashboard. When you see these guys pulling

those cords inside their trucks you may think they are

simply blowing their horn, but no, they are just adding

another score to their tally.

I have a great idea how to

keep these big-rigs out of our rush-hour traffic. Let our

traffic police network with our vice police and simply

reopen the Gold Club from 4 to 7 each day. Take the

danger off the road and put it inside the one place in

the world where a man in a Budweiser cap can look

sensitive (while stuffing dollar bills into a garter).

Chipper Jones won the

National League Most Valuable Player award this week. In

some sick way he attributed his success this year to his

recent "troubles" (i.e., losing his wife after

he fathered a child with someone else). Am I the only one

to notice what a slap in the face this must be to his

former wife?

Even though Chipper takes

blame for his situation, he turns around and sorta says,

"Wow, what a great thing happened to me 'cause I was

an irresponsible pig." Sorta like he was saying to

his former wife, "Thanks for holding me back all

these years, I couldn't have done it with

ya."

Oh, well, can you imagine

how much better he will be next year now that the Gold

Club is shut down? The Braves should be a cinch for the

World Series title.

Til next time, spammees.

And if you are wondering why so much "strip

club" humor? The newspaper made me: it is

"Sweeps Weeks."

[Contact Billy Murphy

via e-mail at [email protected] or visit his website at https://billymurphy.homepage.com .]

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