The Countdown Has Begun

It’s official. I can now count down the days until the new school year starts. I know I can because The Wife said, “After July 4^th, you can start the countdown.” At the time of this writing, I have only twenty days left before the hallways are once again filled with back-to-schoolers. Some will be a little scared, some happy to be back and see their friends, and a few will be unhappy that the long summer break is finally over. But this story isn’t about teachers. It’s about how Yours Truly is getting prepared to go back to work. 

This kindergarten paraprofessional can’t wait to walk through those doors once again. They say if you find something you truly love to do, you’ll never work another day in your life. Well, got some news for whoever “they” are. I truly love what I do, but it’s a lot of work to get ready before we can greet those eighteen or so students that are going to be in our classroom. 

So little time.

There are only 480 hours left, and I don’t think it’s possible to get everything checked off on my checklist before the Meet the Teacher event. Here are but a few of my checklist items. First, I must buy eighteen packs of crayons, one for each student. Yes, I know the teacher already has enough boxes of crayons for every Little starting in her class. But these crayons are special. 

My teacher will be new to our school, and the entire class and I are going to give her a “Welcome to our Classroom” present. I’ve bought a glass lamp with a base that can be filled with anything. In our case, each student will fill the lamp with their box of crayons. But first, they will delight in breaking all their crayons in half! Two questions likely come to mind when you read that last sentence. First, why is he teaching kindergarteners to break crayons? (I don’t have to teach them. Trust me. They already know.) And second, why would any teacher want a glass lamp with a base full of broken crayons?

Both are excellent questions. But to learn why it will be a perfect gift that shines light onto our classroom for the entire school year, you’ll have to come back to this column next week. I could just tell you now, but I still have so much to do and so little time before I’m ready for that first day.

I haven’t even had one sniffle, sneeze, cough, or sore throat since school ended. All that is about to change. I’ve already ordered Z-packs, four packages of cough drops (the cherry ones are my favorite), and a case of aloe-infused Kleenex. And I still need to order those hand sanitizer refills for my clip-on dispensers. And that reminds me, I need to check whether there are any new ones I don’t already have in my twenty-count collection.

Rain, rain, go away.

Yep, this old guy’s gotta stand outside twice a day in all kinds of weather for the next nine months. And it’s easier to do car duty when you’re wearing the right clothes. Standing in the pouring rain without waterproof everything is not something I will be repeating this year. So, I’m doing a little shopping.

All I have to do is order online, and those nice folks in trucks with a smile on the side will deliver the perfect rain gear to our front door. I’m gonna also get an early start shopping for that cold weather clothing: a new knit hat, wool scarf, double-insulated gloves, and that coat that has three heat settings. This winter I’m gonna stay warm in car rider line. 

Finally, perhaps the most important thing that must be done before school can start back is getting a haircut. Yes, I’ve already made an appointment for ten days out from the first day of school. That is the perfect amount of time for my hair to grow out just enough, so it doesn’t look like I just got a haircut. And I still need to get a manicure. Can’t go back to school with dirty fingernails now, can I?

Over the next three weeks, teachers and paraprofessionals all over our fair town will be busily working in their rooms preparing for the students’ arrival. As excited as you are to send your kiddos off to school, those teachers are just as excited to welcome them back. Please support them any way you can, and if you have any Littles going to kindergarten, you might want to send them with a box of Kleenex. 

Trust me, your teacher will use it.