For thirteen years The Wife and I have waited for this day to come. Our patience has finally paid off, and the waiting is now over … well, almost. We still have a few more months to go, but I decided that this event is so momentous, an early start was warranted.
So, what has Yours Truly talked about non-stop for the last two weeks, testing The Wife’s endurance of listening to my endless prattle? Yes, Dear Reader, it’s new car time around our house.
No help needed
Before we go any further, please don’t send me an e-mail or text about your friend who works at the car dealership that has a plan to sell me a car. I already have the perfect plan on how to buy our new car — going to a dealership ain’t it.
Besides, the final decision on what to buy isn’t solely up to me; there are others whose input is vital to making any future vacation car trips as harmonious as possible.
Now I have talked about the new car for hours upon hours – just ask The Wife. Bewildering to me, no one can listen for more than about ten minutes before disappearing to parts unknown.
But before they left me and the conversation, our two granddaughters and The Wife shared a wish list of their own “must haves” for our new member of the family.
Air, here, there, and everywhere
Little One requested that the new car have an air vent directly above her head and said air vent has controls just for her. She also would very much like heated seats, a sunshade on the window, and if possible, a mute button that will keep her sister from talking. I told her most of the above are possible but finding that mute button might take a while. Besides, her mom has first dibs on it if I can find one.
Never ending movies
Sweet Caroline’s requests were similar, but she added a few things of her own. Most important to her is a large TV screen (with remote) embedded behind the front seat headrest, and a Wi-Fi hot spot making streaming movies and games possible. A moon roof was also high on her list along with cooling seats.
This was when her sister chimed in, “Not fair! Can I have cooling seats too?” I told her she already wanted a mute button, so she had to make a choice. She chose cooling seats. (Mom still wants that mute button, so I’ll keep looking.)
The Wife’s must haves
The Wife’s requests were not nearly as demanding nor expensive, “All I want is to be able to get in and out of it, drive it sometimes, and have you stop talking about buying a new car.” I told her two of those things were possible, but the third was likely not gonna happen.
I have but one request
Sure, I want a top-of-the-line, dependable car that has all the above equipment. I also want a self-driving, self-parking hybrid with state-of-the-art navigation. But those are all “wants,” not requests.
My one request when buying a new car is simple: A new car without the car payment. And herein lies the reason why we haven’t bought one in the last thirteen years.
The perfect plan
I told The Wife, “We don’t have to wait until March to buy the car. All we have to do is ask 55,000 folks to send in a dollar and we could order it next week! Then I’ll stop talking about buying it. It’s a win-win!”
She smiled, walked to the front room, and came back with a dollar. “Here you go. Now all you need is 54,999 more.”
I’m sure it won’t be long before we have enough dollars for a new car. If not, we’ll just have to buy it in March the old-fashioned way.
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories weekly in The Citizen since 2001.]
