When a couple gets married, I have found that they give only surface consideration to children. Oh, mostly they want children but when and how many is most often a discussion had well after tying the knot. Whether to have children at all must be discussed before marriage to avoid the nasty shock that one wants none when the other wants a large family.
My father was the eldest of eight children, six of them boys. My parents had two children, both boys. My wife and I had three kids, again, all boys. On my wife’s side was an equal number of boys and girls in the two generations before us. We had all but given up on having girls.
I didn’t give any real consideration to grandchildren until my first born was married. It seemed surreal that I could soon be a grandfather. After all, grandparents are old — ancient almost. Then, at the age of 43, with my wife being 42, we were going to have a grandchild. And, despite all the genetics and family history, it was going to be a girl!
I was in the waiting room of the hospital when my son came in and placed her in my arms. A girl. How do you take care of a girl? I was out of my depth. When someone asked what I felt when I held her, I told them, “I felt that I was going to live forever!”
Not my physical body, of course, but I felt that I was going to be part of a distant future. Having children was one thing. The Bible says that children are blessings from the Lord. That part I understood and had received. But a granddaughter? That was the day that I truly realized that it mattered that I was born and that I was here.
The next three grandchildren were boys, no surprise to us. But then the next eight grandkids were all girls. Twelve grandchildren in all, and that feeling of “living forever” increased with each one’s arrival. My father died at 69 of cancer. He only got to see three of his twelve great-grandkids, my two oldest and my brother’s daughter. A fourth great-grandchild, a boy, was born the day he died.
I never thought I’d live to see any great-grandchildren. It just seemed too far away. But I have lived and seen. A great-granddaughter came first, followed by two great-grandsons. Another great-grandchild, a girl, arrived last week. My only brother, nine years younger than me, is a great-grandfather as well.
When my grandkids were small, I wondered what they’d be, what kind of world they would face. The oldest of them are making their way in the world now. These newest members of my family — these four? I hope I am around long enough for them to know me and remember me.
But, if not, perhaps they can remember or be told that there was a man who, from the day they were born, loved them, prayed for them, and sometimes shed tears over them. And just maybe they will be told that, along with the grandchildren that came before them, they had a Papa that, because of them, felt like he would live forever!
[David Epps is the Rector of the Cathedral of Christ the King (www.ctk.life). Worship services are on Sundays at 10:00 a.m. and on livestream at www.ctk.life. He is the bishop of the Diocese of the Mid-South (www.midsouthdiocese.life). He has been a weekly opinion columnist for The Citizen for over 27 years. He may be contacted at [email protected].]
