If you’re a business owner or a professional service provider, inevitably you will be asked for free stuff, free advice, and free help. Honestly, most of us have asked for free stuff – it’s human nature. However, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it. I dread it when someone says, “let’s get together so I can pick your brain.” Sorry, friends, but I’d rather you not pick my brain – the phrase itself is painful. How about we get together because you want to spend time with me? If you have a specific question on your mind and you’re seeking advice, bring it up then.
Most people don’t want their brains picked or to walk into an open-ended request for general, non-specific help. Indeed, handling requests for free services and advice as a small business owner can be a delicate situation. It’s important to balance your desire to help others with the need to sustain and grow your business. I love to help people, but I also have a business to run.
Not a week goes by without someone or some organization approaching me and asking, “Hey Joe, will you build us a free website?” It’s an innocent question and probably well intentioned. In our case, we have employees to pay and they’re entitled to earn a living. Doing free work or giving away free stuff has a real cost to it. This is especially irritating when the person seeking the freebie, has the financial means of paying for the assistance. In addition to labor cost, there’s also a hard dollar cost for things like domain registrations, hosting, software, stock graphics, and other components that go into a website build.
Here are some issues with free advice (and stuff) as I see it:
Undervaluing Expertise: When you consistently ask someone for advice or information without compensating them or offering something in return, you might unintentionally communicate that you don’t value their expertise or time.
Time and Effort: Sharing expertise and advice often requires significant time and effort. Constantly seeking free advice can be draining for the person being asked, especially if they have their own commitments and responsibilities. Most people tend to underestimate the effort required in fulfilling a “free ask.”
Taking Advantage: Repeatedly seeking free advice can give the impression that you’re taking advantage of the other person’s generosity. This can strain relationships and lead to resentment. We all dread people who are takers and not givers. Don’t be that person.
Diminishing Boundaries: Constantly asking for advice can blur the boundaries between personal and professional relationships. This can make the person being asked uncomfortable, as they might feel obligated to help even when it’s not convenient for them.
Unbalanced Relationships: Reciprocity is an important part of building and maintaining relationships. If you’re only taking and not giving back, the relationship becomes one-sided and can become unsustainable over time. “Free” is not a sustainable model for a business or a relationship.
Opportunity Cost: Helping you might prevent someone from assisting someone else. While providing free advice, someone might be missing out on other opportunities or tasks that could bring them more tangible benefits.
Lack of Accountability: When you’re not invested financially or otherwise, there might be less incentive for you to follow through on the advice or put it into action. People tend to value what they pay for. It’s disappointing when someone asks for advice and then does nothing with it. It’s even worse when someone seeks free advice and then argues about it!
Valuable Information: Oftentimes, the advice or help being sought is valuable and could be part of the person’s livelihood. Constantly giving it away for free could impact their own business or professional growth.
To avoid these issues, it’s important to approach seeking advice (or other free items) with respect and consideration. If you value someone’s expertise or help and want something from them, consider the following:
- Reciprocity: Offer something in return, whether it’s compensation, your own expertise, a favor, a promotional plug, referrals, or even a heartfelt thank-you gesture.
- Respect Their Time: Be mindful of the other person’s time and commitments. Schedule a time to discuss your questions or concerns, rather than approaching them in an impromptu manner.
- Be Specific: When seeking advice, be clear and specific about what you’re looking for. This shows that you’ve done your research and are genuinely interested in their expertise.
- Show Appreciation: Most importantly, always express gratitude for the advice and assistance you receive. This goes a long way in building and maintaining positive relationships.
Over the years, I’ve collaborated with numerous deserving organizations and individuals to whom we gladly offered heavily discounted or free services. In each instance, their appreciation was evident, and they voluntarily reciprocated without any prompting from me – whether it was through free tickets, impactful sponsorships, valuable referrals, or thoughtful tokens of gratitude for my staff. On a few occasions, I’ve even been surprised with boxes of donuts – for those who know me personally, it’s no secret that donuts are always appreciated.
While seeking free advice and help is natural, it’s crucial to approach this endeavor with sensitivity, respect, and a sense of reciprocity. By valuing others’ expertise, time, and boundaries, we cultivate meaningful connections that go beyond transactions. The next time you ask for something for free – be respectful, specific, and offer to give something back in return. If you do these things, you’re likely to build better relationships and partnerships that are mutually beneficial for years to come.
[Joe Domaleski, a Fayette County resident for 25 years, is the owner of Country Fried Creative – an award-winning digital marketing agency located in Peachtree City. His company was the Fayette Chamber’s 2021 Small Business of the Year. Joe is a husband, father of three grown children, and proud Army veteran. He has an MBA from Georgia State University and enjoys sharing his perspectives drawing from thirty years of business leadership experience. ]
