Cookies are the perfect holiday treat made in the kitchen. Fun to mix with the kids, easy to bake, and in less than an hour, you can have bowls full of them on any table.
But not all believe in the delectableness of the cookie or that it’s the best sweet way to enjoy holidays. For example, The Wife will argue cakes are a much yummier way to celebrate. Her proof? Ever seen anyone grumpy after eating cake?
The pie people say there’s nothing better than topping a slice with a scoop of your favorite ice cream. Then you have those fruitcake folks. Yes, believe it or not, there’s still a bunch out there that actually enjoy the “cake” we used as a doorstop back on Flamingo Street. So let’s examine each one of the above and perhaps you, too, will see that they’ll crumble when mixed and measured next to the holiday cookie.
First, The Wife’s favorite — cake. Take it from me, sneaking cake is impossible. While growing up back on Flamingo, my brothers and me tried every way possible to eat a slice before dinner. We’d cut thin pieces, squeeze the cake back together before spreading the icing to cover our sneakiness. Mom found out every time.
Ask for a second piece and Dad’s answer was always the same, “No. One is enough.” Drop your cake on the floor? The five-second rule is in effect, but only if icing side is face up. Icing side down? The five-second rule doesn’t apply, so say goodbye to your dessert.
Second, pie. Whether it’s apple, peach, or cherry pies are not only full of fruit, they’re full of problems as a holiday dessert. Like cake, you simply can’t sneak even the smallest of slice. Drop it on the floor and there’s no chance of retrieval within the five seconds. It makes a gooey mess, especially if it’s pumpkin or potato. Only thing worse would be pudding, but does anyone serve pudding as a dessert during the holidays?
Then there’s the Rodney Dangerfield of desserts: fruit cake. If I wanted to eat a mouthful of candied fruit … well, I wouldn’t. It’s neither pie nor cake, but something in-between. Pound for pound, the densest holiday cake is full of fruit, nuts, and I really don’t know what.
But my dad simply loved the stuff we kids used as a doorstop. He said it was a unique treat when Grandma brought fruit cake over to our house wrapped up in a towel. It smelled like someone spilled an adult beverage all over it.
That was the first clue it was different. The second was the weight. If it ever “accidentally” got pushed off the table and landed on top of Twin Brother Mark’s foot, it would make him hobble around for weeks. (It almost broke his little toe.) Third, Dad saying it was a unique treat didn’t make it taste any better. One Christmas, he gave each of us a small slice. Simply put, it was awful. Only 6 at the time, I’ve never forgotten that day.
Finally, my choice: the holiday cookie. Cookies have none of the above problems. With plates, boxes, and sometimes even baskets full of them in your house during the holidays, chances are that sneaking one, two, or even a handful will certainly go undetected. After dinner if you ask your parents, they’ll probably give you a couple as long as they don’t know you’ve already snuck a bunch.
Now that we are in the full holiday swing, when you plan that perfect lunch or dinner with family, don’t forget. No family get-together can be successful without a batch of homemade holiday cookies.
Plus, unlike cake or pie, if dropped on the floor, cookies easily pass the five-second rule. With so many holiday cookies around, there’s a good chance no one’s gonna notice if you eat an entire plateful.
Unless, of course, you get ratted out by your granddaughters like I did last week.
One final thought: Make sure you break all those holiday cookies before your eat them. That way all the calories run out so they work for any diet. Or so I’ve been told.
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories since 2001. To read more of Rick’s stories, visit his blog: storiesbyrick.wordpress.com.]
