Children shows today like Blaze and the Monster Machines, PAW Patrol, Wallykazam!, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Dora the Explorer and many more teach kids math, science, Spanish, English, and problem solving skills.
A precursor to these shows premiered back in 1969 with a giant yellow bird with big orange feet who has danced and sung his way across millions of television screens. By the time they are 3 years old, over 95 percent of little tykes have seen him and the other fuzzy Muppets of Sesame Street.
Kids learn words, how to count, how to spell, and how to manage challenging social interactions, all the stuff one needs to know in order to grow up and become a well-rounded adult.
Unfortunately, Big Bird wasn’t around when I was 3 — guess that’s why I spell words so poorly. I blame him for the way my brothers and I turned out. But not just him — there’s a whole host of others characters who are at fault. I’ll explain.
When my three brothers, The Sister and I were growing up back on Flamingo Street, shows on television taught very different skill sets than spelling, rhyming, and counting. The Roadrunner taught us that it was okay to stick your tongue out. The coyote he was always harassing taught us you could get anything you needed in life — sent directly to you in a flash — from the Acme Company. (I think now that company is called Amazon.)
Wile E. Coyote also taught us how to blow things up. Sticking out one’s tongue and blowing things up aren’t skills most adults find useful.
The Flintstones show taught us many useless things. First, when Fred Flintstone gets home from work, he yells, “WILMA! I’M HOME!” When locked out of the house he pounds on the door and yells. Don’t think pounding on the door and yelling out The Wife’s name is a good idea.
During the fourth season, his best friend Barney had a little baby boy named Bamm-Bamm. Barney thought it was funny that his boy always went around hitting things with a large club. Probably not a skill we want to encourage in kids today.
Bamm-Bamm also climbed on everything. Found our little red head Sweet Caroline climbing the shelving in the pantry just yesterday. I think I need to check her toy box for any large clubs.
Still, good old Fred did do some things our two granddaughters love. He always walked around without shoes. Put socks and shoes on our girls and then turn your back for a moment, they’ll be barefooted just like Fred.
Every day after work, he slid down the back of a long neck brontosaurus, and when he got home, he was knocked over and licked in the face by his pet dinosaur. Luckily, so far every pet store we’ve checked is out of stock when it comes to dinosaurs.
Perhaps the most influential show my brothers and I watched was the Three Stooges. The trio was always hitting each other, getting into trouble, but in the end they were still together.
Take it from me, getting hit with sticks, dirt clods, tree limbs, dinner plates, and water balloons and having buckets of water dumped on your head is much funnier to watch on television that experiencing in real life.
The show also taught us how to slap faces, poke eyes, and punch, kick, or trip each other. Growing up on Flamingo Street, these were useful tools around my three brothers, but as an adult, listing those skills on a resume won’t help you get hired anywhere.
So how did this conversation about childhood television programs come up at our house? While watching a history show about the Incas in Peru, the narrator described how the Spanish conquered them, set ruin to the civilization, and then took all of their gold.
At the next commercial, The Wife stated that without the aid of Henry the Navigator, perhaps the invasion would never have happened. He was the prince of Portugal in the 15th century who started a school of navigation. That’s how the Spanish learned how to navigate the oceans.
Sitting back in my chair, I asked her how in the world she knew that. That’s when she asked, “How do you not?” My answer left her with a puzzled look.
“I blame it all on Big Bird.”
[Rick Ryckeley has been writing stories since 2001. To read more of Rick’s stories, visit his blog: storiesbyrick.wordpress.com.]
