I used to wonder about people who said you don’t truly know love – or worry – until you have a child. I became a first-time father by adoption of an infant at the ripe age of 50, then we did it again five years later. Even as an ancient Dad, I wasn’t too old to learn those people were right.
All those years I was doubting that wisdom, I had no idea there is an even deeper level, that you don’t truly know heartache until you have a child with physical or cognitive challenges you cannot fix, and you don’t truly know anguish until you have a child with special needs who cannot keep up with other kids, going off to school every day wishing they were like all the others, hoping they won’t be the last one picked on the playground again, learning the routine of coming home after another lonesome day with apathy toward homework because they have failed to grasp or remember too many times, fully expecting to fail at homework and tests, desperately seeking an escape from even trying again after convincing themselves they cannot succeed.
How does a parent with a breaking heart motivate a despondent child who feels left behind and left out every school day?
Even though our own Fayette County has some of the best public schools in the state, we were fortunate to discover The Bedford School in Fairburn, in South Fulton County. Bedford teaches grades 1-9 in a way meant to deal with a variety of learning disabilities like dyslexia, ADD, slower processing and other cognitive dysfunction and social issues.
Bedford applies a structured approach, specially trained teachers, small class sizes, more teacher attention to individual students, consistency in teaching and testing methods and a strong set of behavioral disciplines that students learn fast and the staff enforce.
I don’t impress easily, and I am impressed by The Bedford School. When you hear Bedford parents say to each other, “You won’t find a better school than this!” they have official support for that since, according to the Masters in Special Education organization, The Bedford School is one of the 50 best private special needs schools in the entire U.S.A.
As a natural-born cynic, my high praise for Bedford is simply that, “It works.” Kids are expected to perform and get some help doing so. Failure on a quiz or test leads to a “redo” using the book to earn a few extra points and to boost learning the material. Discipline from low to high levels are enforced at every infraction, and the result is – surprise! – well-behaved kids, a vital part of the learning environment, especially where kids need extra help. And there is no need for locks on the lockers.
Bedford teachers are noticeably involved in, and appear to be enthusiastic about, extra duties like coaching or refereeing volleyball, soccer and basketball teams at varying levels of talent so all kids have a chance to play. They also manage special events like science fairs, nicely produced plays by student actors and field trips like the upcoming big one to visit Washington, D.C.
Teachers at Bedford apply fairly consistent methods in the classroom, on homework, quizzes and tests, easing a little bit the burden in a challenged child’s busy head. One thing at Bedford actually rescued our home family life … and my kid.
Instead of the daily Daddy struggle and child agony at home over homework, we use an after-school Bedford homework session where the kids learn self-direction on homework with teachers supervising and checking homework to give clues, not answers, where more work is needed.
That doesn’t mean my blunt-instrument method gets off the hook. As a teacher I’m a little like a gorilla trying to show a puppy how to play the piano, but when I pick up my child we sit in my truck, right there in the school parking lot, and I review homework and help with final corrections, including review for quiz or test to the extent we can until we are finished. Then, departing school to go home is a sanctuary for my kid instead of what used to be her dread of a nightly battle and anticipated failure.
The Bedford School can’t solve all our problems. But another change is important and clear. In the classroom my kid no longer feels like she doesn’t belong, and when I pick her up when she has more homework to do, she is motivated on her own to dig it out and get busy in the truck because she knows it’s her job, and more importantly she knows now that she can do it.
Too bad public schools can’t take a lesson from the structure, classroom consistency and culture of behavior discipline at Bedford, even if they can never match the class sizes of 10 to 12 students, depending on the grade.
Too bad public school teachers have to put up with so much bureaucratic folly that distracts from teaching, and too many parents that are more hindrance than help.
Too bad public schools can’t provide the positive homework coaching that might rescue struggling kids with potential.
You should be asking, “Why not?”
Dr. Betsy Box, dyslexic herself, started The Bedford School in 1985 after developing a program for kids with learning disabilities at Woodward Academy in College Park and teaching there for 14 years. Mr. Jeff James, the school headmaster, serves as the principal of the lower grades, while Ms. Allison Day is principal of the middle school grades.
As I said, I don’t impress easily, but this team of three in leadership runs a tight ship like a well oiled machine – a rare case begging for mixed metaphors.
Some years ago Mr. James and Ms. Day and other teachers taught a student named Kristy Weaver who, like Dr. Box, is dyslexic. Kristy told Dr. Box she wanted to be a teacher, and she wanted to teach at Bedford some day. Years passed, and her dad, Bill Weaver, is now a friend I met a few years ago in connection with our shared history of flying helicopters in the Vietnam War, though we didn’t know each other then.
Bill said Kristy ultimately ended up with her degree as a special education teacher. Just before she graduated from her last year of college and while she was preparing for her job search, Bill drove Kristy to the then-brand-new Bedford school building in Fairburn on Milam Road, both of them wanting a look while school was not in session. The front door was open and near the entrance they encountered Dr. Betsy Box, who offered to show them around, so pleased to see one of her former students she knew well and who was clearly achieving her goals.
As Betsy showed them around she asked in one classroom if Kristy liked it. Kristy said she loved it.
Betsy said, “This is your classroom.”
Kristy said, “What?”
Betsy said, “Don’t you want to teach here when you graduate in a few months?”
Many tears of joy were shed in that classroom that day, and Kristy taught at The Bedford School for eight years before she became a stay-at-home mom.
If wealth were measured in lives touched where kids need help, Betsy Box, Jeff James, Allison Day and their teachers and staff at The Bedford School are slowly getting rich, one family at a time. The kids are too many to count who have had their own expectation of failure turned into confidence they can succeed with hard work, kids who learn to expect that hard work from themselves, and that they shouldn’t be afraid to try and fail, that it’s part of working toward success.
For five years now, when my cell phone rings with the caller ID of Bedford School, I know most often Bonnie Sides, who manages the front desk, is calling to tell me of an episode of my child’s illness, how they handled it, that she is resting and they will send her back to class.
For Bonnie, Matt Queen, Sheryl Burnam, Brad Eisenburg, Shannon Hazeltine and many others at Bedford who have treated my child just as they would treat their own, many, many thanks.
For parents out there with special needs frustrations like our family had years ago, I have one simple piece of advice. Seek out Dr. Betsy Box at The Bedford School in Fairburn, ask her when you can visit for a short talk, and don’t leave her office without picking her brain as much as you can on teaching kids with learning differences.
New challenges lie ahead for us as we move on from The Bedford School next year. But we will never forget.
[Terry Garlock lives in Peachtree City. His email is [email protected].]
The Bedford School leadership are (L-R) Jeff James, Dr. Betsy Box and Allison Day. Photo/Submitted.
