This past weekend my wife and I celebrated our 44th wedding anniversary. We did so by visiting her parents who are nearing their 86th birthdays and who recently celebrated their 65th anniversary. I couldn’t help but reflect on the differences in the two generations regarding wedding anniversaries.
In their case, almost everyone that they knew in their youth remained married to the same spouse. In my/our case, almost every married couple that I/we knew in my/our youth has been divorced.
I personally only know one, maybe two, couples of my high school graduating class who are still married to their original spouse. In one generation, there has been a sea change regarding the stability of marriage.
I do not know why this is so, although I have opinions. That it is so, is almost without dispute.
My parents never considered divorce, although I suspect that life was, at times, miserable for them. They made a commitment and, come what may, they determined to see it through. My wife and I thought about it frequently, especially in the early years. We are both somewhat amazed that we made it — so far, at least.
In my sons’ generation, divorce is as commonplace as a trip to McDonald’s, though far more traumatic and expensive. Many in their generation already have multiple marriages and divorces.
I am not making a judgment. I am merely reporting an observation. It is now commonplace for a person to have more than one marriage, and, in many cases, several marriages.
I have 11 grandchildren and the oldest will be married in a few months. The other 10 will, I assume, eventually follow. What the future holds for them I cannot even begin to imagine. They are growing up in a world that would have been inconceivable to me — even more so to my parents’ generation.
There are still two-parent families where the couples are married to their original spouses, but there are now also blended families, families where no one is married, single parent families, families where the couples are same-sex, and families where one or both of the partners are transgendered. Others are now pushing for multiple partner marriages and a few have pushed for marriage among species!
In the past, most couples were married in churches. I have seen people married at the beach, by a lake, in the woods, in a balloon, in a garden, in the rain, in a basement, in a hospital room, at a courthouse, and in a number of non-traditional places. I still think the church is the place for Christian couples to be married.
Many wonderful advances have been made since my parents’ time, especially in the fields of science and medicine. Many of the patients I see in the hospital would have died long ago were it not for such progress. However, the changes in the social fabric of society have also been enormous, and not all of them are positive. No one knows, or can even imagine, what the future will hold.
I suppose as people get older (I am almost 65) there is a tendency to lean toward the pessimistic as regards the future. Perhaps I am wrong and the future will be bright, beautiful, and wonderful. For the sake of the upcoming generations I certainly hope so.
[David Epps is the pastor of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Sharpsburg, GA (www.ctkcec.org). He is the bishop of the Mid-South Diocese which consists of Georgia and Tennessee (www.midsouthdiocese.org) and the Associate Endorser for the Department of the Armed Forces, U. S. Military Chaplains, ICCEC. He may contacted at [email protected].]
