Or die mad
Once upon a time I used to agonize over decisions I had to make. It wasn’t just that I was afraid to do the wrong thing, although that certainly played a part. It was also that I agonized over what people would think, how they would react, or if they would be displeased with me.
In fact, in one church over 30 years ago, I was sometimes called “Slick” behind my back because I was so hard to pin down when it came to decisions and answers. Whatever that behavior is, it certainly is not leadership.
I think I have come a long way since that time. For one thing, I painfully learned that, in evading the responsibility of making decisions, I lost the respect of other leaders. I also discovered that some people cannot be pleased no matter what decision is made. And I learned that the only person losing sleep and worrying all night long was me. A trip to Tennessee helped begin the change.
Years ago, I was speaking to a friend and he told me about a decision he had made that would not be popular with a certain person.
I asked, “Are you worried about his reaction?”
His reply was, “He’ll either get over it or die mad. I’m moving on.”
Sometimes the best practical wisdom comes from down-to-earth good old boys. “Horse sense,” my dad called it.
It’s true. People either get over being offended, disagreed with, out-voted, and disappointed — or they die mad. They let a thing fester like an infected boil, dispensing ever-increasing misery, until they deal with it in a positive way or they carry their anger to the grave.
A part of my job involves making decisions. In fact, all people have decisions they must make. A wise person will gather knowledge, seek the advice of competent people, consider the risks versus the benefits, and, eventually, choose a path. Carly Fiorina, former CEO at Hewlett-Packard, stated in one of her books that a CEO must gather the best information, make the best decisions possible, and then stand by them.
Certainly not every decision will turn out to be the best path chosen, but even a bad decision can be valuable in the lessons learned.
A Fortune 500 CEO who started in the mail room of his company was asked, “How did you rise from the mail room to eventually become the CEO?”
He said, “I learned to make good decisions.”
He was then asked, “How did you learn to make good decisions?”
His reply was, “By making bad decisions. And learning from them.”
So, for the most part, I try not to agonize over decisions after they are made. I don’t try to hurt anyone, cause any grief, or ignore wise counsel. I also try to make decisions that are for the greater good for an individual and/or the organization. I rarely intentionally make decisions with the purpose of benefiting personally.
No one calls me “Slick” these days. Apparently, some even think that I am too opinionated. But, then, you can’t please everybody. Some people are just bound and determined to be offended, get angry, and act out.
But, don’t worry. Eventually, they’ll get over it – or die mad.
[David Epps is the pastor of the Cathedral of Christ the King, Sharpsburg, GA (www.ctkcec.org). He is the bishop of the Mid-South Diocese which consists of Georgia and Tennessee (www.midsouthdiocese.org) and the Associate Endorser for the Department of the Armed Forces, U. S. Military Chaplains, ICCEC. He may contacted at [email protected].]
