I guess it depends on whose survey you scan. One recent article reported that families with kids are eating out more because they are on the run. Picked up from school, home for a snack and maybe some homework, load up and run through the drive-through, eat in car before getting to ball games, back home to scarf down another snack while grinding out assignments, then off to bed to start over again tomorrow. I don’t know if the drive-through qualifies as “eating together.”
Another article stated families are eating together as many as five nights a week. I grew up eating supper together as a family. I thought everybody did. That time was a highlight of the day, and a great time of building memories.
Eating together as a family is about more than nutrition. It’s about making memories and building a stronger family. The family that eats together bonds together. A prioritized, protected time of sitting down and eating as a family can build a sense of community as individuals share about their day, laugh freely, and enjoy family fellowship. It’s also a good teaching time.
Timi Gustafson wrote, “The dinner table can be the perfect environment where kids learn how to conduct conversations, observe good manners, serve others, listen, solve conflicts and compromise.” (www.huffingtonpost.com, “Eating Together As a Family Has Multiple Benefits,” 11/20/2012).
Families that do eat together not only enjoy the benefit of communication, but also of better school performance. According to a Washington University study, family meals appear to give children an edge in the classroom. In a Louis Harris and Associates survey of 2000 high school seniors, students took a test to measure their academic ability and answered a list of personal questions. Students who regularly ate dinner with their families four or more times a week scored better than those who ate family dinners three or fewer times a week.
The study also showed that well-adjusted adolescents and frequent family meals are linked. In an older survey of 527 teens, the teens who were best adjusted ate a meal with an adult in their family an average of 5.4 days a week, compared to 3.3 days for teens who didn’t’ show good adjustment.
The well-adjusted teens were less likely to do drugs or be depressed and were more motivated at school, while less-adjusted teens were more likely to be involved with drugs, be depressed, exhibit difficulty getting along with others and have trouble in school.
Some of our family’s greatest family moments are created at mealtime. I’ll never forget the moment our daughter-who-shall-remain nameless was busted as a young preschooler. Night after night my wife had commended her for eating her vegetables. She held her up as an example to her other sisters.
Then my wife happened to look under the table, and discovered a hefty stash of dried up English peas, green beans, and corn kernels lined up on a support piece, right at this daughter’s place. She never has been into vegetables. We still laugh about her vegetable caper.
As the kids got older, I often read a short Bible portion and devotional thought before we scattered at the end of the meal. One night, I kept getting interrupted by the phone ringing. In the days before caller ID, I refused to answer the phone at meal time, but everyone would wonder who it was and if the call was for them. So the phone distracted us whether I answered it or not. I finally got through the devotional, and was about to read from Proverbs when another poorly-timed phone call rang.
When I finally returned to Proverbs 1:28, the verse read, “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer.” Maybe you had to be there, but it was a humorous mealtime moment that we’ve never forgotten.
Coordinating schedules to prioritize family meal time takes work, but it’s worth the effort. Now about having that television on at family meal time …
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[Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church in Fayetteville, Georgia. The church family gathers at 352 McDonough Road, just past the department of drivers’ services building. They invite you to join them this Sunday for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m. Visit them on the web at www.mcdonoughroad.org and “like” them on Facebook.]
