They say doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result is the definition of crazy. Don’t really know who “they” are, but yesterday morning that’s exactly what I did.
Even though I’d done the same thing for years, I hoped for a different outcome. Just call me crazy – crazily optimistic. Surprisingly, this time, the final outcome was indeed different. But for the beginning of this story, we have to travel back some 45 years.
The first time I drove by myself to Briarwood High School, Home of the Mighty Buccaneers, was a day I’ll never forget. Everything was perfect. I parked in the senior parking lot 30 minutes before the first bell – perfect timing.
I hung out next to my red Maverick – a very cool car back in the day – the perfect car. Candi saw the car, me leaning up against it, and actually waved as she walked by – the perfect girlfriend.
At least I think it was a wave – she could’ve been swatting at a bug. Unfortunately, she walked past arm in arm with Preston Weston III – not so perfect.
By the end of the day, I was the talk of the entire school, but not because of the Maverick. I was a senior, had a cool car, and was the last one to leave the parking lot that day. It was the first time I’d driven to school and the first time, of many, that I locked my keys inside the car.
Two hours and three coat hangers later, the rubber seal around the window was destroyed enough so the lock could be hooked and pulled up. All the way home it rained. The water also poured inside my car. I swore to buy a hide-a-key the very next week so such a thing would never happen again. I never did.
Almost once every year since high school, my keys somehow have been locked inside the car. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson the first time, but no.
The excuses they are many. Looking back, it’s surprising how many times it was raining or I was in a hurry. Without fail, on raining days the umbrella was also locked inside the car with the keys.
To correct this, I tried not driving when it was raining or when I was in a hurry, but it didn’t work. Eventually, I just blamed the umbrella.
After being hired with the fire department, my days of bent coat hangers were finally behind me. Or so I thought. Now friends with members of the Sheriff’s Department, I could call on them to help extricate my keys.
This worked for many years, but the ribbing got to be even more than I could handle. Finally I did hang a key inside the engine compartment. Unfortunately, it fell off sometime between hanging it and needing it. Eventually, I went back to the tried and true coat hanger.
What is the most embarrassing moment of locking keys inside a car? During the dead of winter, I’ve run outside to warm up the car, then remembered something inside the house. Not being able to get back inside the house, I stand outside freezing with a bent coat hanger trying to get keys from the inside of the nice warm car.
It’s a cold reminder to hide an extra key – which, of course, I still haven’t. Why should I? Now I’ve given the spare key to The Wife. If locked out, all I have to do is call her for help. At least she doesn’t make fun of me like the folks over at the Sheriff’s Department. And that brings us right back to yesterday morning.
After enjoying breakfast at the local coffee shop, I went to get inside my car only to find the keys were missing. I attempted to call The Wife only to realize my phone was also locked safely inside the car. That’s when it started to rain. Yes, the umbrella was also locked inside the car.
After going back inside to use the phone, I discovered something else. I couldn’t call The Wife after all. She’s number one on my speed dial, but I don’t actually know her phone number. When I asked the nice waitress for a coat hanger, she handed me a set of keys. Seems I’d left them on the table.
You know, I really should get a hide-a-key for my car. I think I’ll do it next week.
[Rick Ryckeley, who lives in Senoia, served as a firefighter for more than two decades and has been a weekly columnist since 2001. His email is [email protected]. His books are available at www.RickRyckeley.com.]
