Parents need to be parents, not friends

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My concern as a police officer – but also as an ordained police chaplain, juvenile detective for the city of Fayetteville, city councilman for Brooks, deacon, Sunday school teacher, and most of all a father to a teenager in Fayette County – is the numerous cases of teenagers drinking alcohol.

At right, Fayetteville Police Lieutenant Scott Israel.

Yes, there are a lot of titles associated with my name, but I want you to understand that the most important title to me is being a good father to my child.

I address this to fellow parents in Fayette County: Somehow in our “hustle and bustle,” we as a society have lost some of the concept of protecting and teaching our teenage adults the fundamentals of becoming leaders.

I am a Fayette County High School graduate and remember the influences I faced in high school. And now I am engaged in the results of today’s influences in our high schools.

We see increasing examples of sexting, aggravated assaults, sexual assaults, thefts, child pornography and molestations, robberies and minors in possession of alcohol (MIP). These are teenagers making wrong decisions, and when it comes to making wrong decisions, I find that alcohol is often a catalyst for future choices and fatal incidents.

This is happening more in Fayette than it does in most of Georgia. According to the 2014 Georgia Student Health Survey, 25.85 percent of high school seniors in the state of Georgia drank alcohol in the last 30 days. I don’t know if parents know this, but here in Fayette County the number is 32.93 percent.

Talking about the risks of alcohol consumption is an important conversation we as parents should have with our children. Either that is not happening, or the youth are not hearing that conversation.

For example, in 2014, an AVPRIDE, Fayette FACTOR and Fayette County School Systems survey revealed that 71 percent of parents said that they have talked to their children about alcohol, but only 38 percent of the teens say that they have had this conversation with their parents.

Why are only 38 percent of our kids hearing a conversation that 71 percent of us parents say we are having? Also, a shocking 29 percent of Fayette County teens say that they have never had a conversation with their parents about alcohol.

A huge problem that we face as a society is the social acceptance many parents have about teens and alcohol. So many parents I talk to say that it is acceptable for their underage children to drink alcohol in their home. Some even state that “if my child is going to get drunk it will be with my beer, in my house.”

Some parents have bought the alcohol, but more find it socially acceptable for the teenagers to bring their own alcohol. The justification is that “I am not furnishing the illegal substance, but I will just give them a safe place to get drunk.” Some parents even allow a party in their home while they are out of town.

Just last year in Georgia there was a fatal incident where parents were out of town, teens partying, teens drinking, teens leaving, teens driving and a teen dies in a car wreck.

Two years ago in Fayetteville, parents allowed a teen party downstairs while they stayed upstairs. Teens brought alcohol and were getting drunk. Police responded for a loud party call and after arriving, they found over a hundred cans of beer in the downstairs.

Parents stated, “The teens are downstairs and I am upstairs; I don’t know what they are doing, so I am not responsible.” Over 20 teens were arrested for MIP. Now because of this excuse, these children have a juvenile or adult criminal record. Who is the adult or child?

My opinion, as a police officer and as a parent, is that if we are going to allow so many people on your property, we need to know what is going on. This is for the safety for our children. These are the reasons why I support a “Social Host Ordinance” that makes parents responsible for underage drinking on their property.

Parents, we need to realize that we need to be a parent first and not a friend. I challenge all of us to discuss this challenging topic with our kids and take pride in our teenagers.

Teens, you need to wait and be patient. You have the rest of your life to become an adult. Enjoy youth and show us adults the true meaning of being a young leader.

I will conclude with 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV): “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”

[Scott Israel has lived in Fayette County for 26 years. He and his wife of 22 years are raising a teenager.]