Back to school and the lessons children teach

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Art Linkletter used to say, “Kids say the darndest things!”  That’s one reason I enjoy our “children’s moment.” At a certain point in our morning worship service, our younger children come to the front (usually ages 5-8 or so) and we have a “talk” and object lesson on their level.

Sometimes I chit-chat with the children before we get into the lesson. Several years ago, I asked little Jimmy about his missing front tooth. He smiled really big and told me he lost it at school.

“How did you lose it?” I asked.

“A girl knocked it out!”

The congregation roared.

Children are smart.  We can learn from them if we’ll listen. A Sunday School teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds.  After explaining the commandment to “honor thy Father and Mother,” she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?”

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, “Thou shalt not kill.”

Another little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small.

The little girl challenged her by reminding the teacher that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven, I will ask Jonah.”

The teacher replied, “What if Jonah went to hell?’

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him.”

A first grader asked her teacher how to spell toad. They had just read a story about a toad.

The teacher replied, “T-O-A-D.”

He finished writing his story and then read it aloud: “I toad my mom I wanted a dog for my birthday.”

Another teacher ran into a former student at the grocery store. He told her, “I always liked you. You never played favorites. You were mean to everyone.”

When the school librarian announced she was leaving to go to another school, one teacher asked her class, “Why do you think Ms. Richardson is leaving?”

One third-grader shot up his hand and guessed, “Because she’s read all our books?”

One teacher finished her English lecture, and as her class filed out, one middle schooler stayed behind to confront her.

“I don’t appreciate being singled out,” he said.

“What are you talking about.”

“I don’t know what the ‘oxy’ part means, but I know what a ‘moron’ is, and you looked straight at me when you said it.” (A few of these stories were found on http://www.rd.com/funny-stuff/funny-school-stories/).

Angela Watson told about the time her students were doing all their assignments and things were going so well. Then, out of the blue, one girl yelled out, “I’m tired of this! Raise your hand if you want to go home!” And they did . . . raise their hands, not go home.

One teacher asked her student where his homework was. He replied, “It’s still in my pencil.”

Today’s children are smarter than ever.  Some children were asked to write down some of the wisdom they accumulated in their short lives:

1) Never trust your dog to watch your food.

2) When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do you think I look stupid to you?” don’t answer.

3) Never tell your Mom her diet’s not working.

4) When your Mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

5) Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

6) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

7) If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

8) Permanent felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

9) When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your Mother when she’s on the phone.

10)  Never try to baptize a cat.

On one occasion, Jesus took a child in his arms and said, “Whoever receives one of these little children in my name receives me; and whoever receives Me, receives not me, but Him who sent Me.”

When we welcome children, we welcome Jesus Himself.

Dr. David L. Chancey is pastor, McDonough Road Baptist Church, Fayetteville. The church family meets at 352 McDonough Road, near McCurry Park, and invites you to join them for Bible study at 9:45 a.m. and worship at 10:55 a.m. this Sunday Check them out at www.mcdonoughroad.org. and like them on Facebook.